Thinking About Starting Therapy? A Few Helpful Thoughts Before You Begin
In recent years, more and more people in the UK are turning to therapy. In fact, research from the shows that around a third of UK adults have worked with a therapist at some point - with the majority reporting it having been a positive and helpful experience.
And yet, for many people, taking the first step can still feel daunting. You might be wondering: Do I really need therapy? What actually happens in a session? How do I find the right therapist for me?
If you’ve been asking yourself these questions, you’re not alone. This post will walk you through some of the most common reasons people seek out therapy, what therapy is (and isn’t), and the different ways you can access support in the UK.
Why Do People Seek Out Therapy?
One of the myths about therapy is that it’s only for people in crisis. The truth is, people come to therapy for all sorts of reasons, some big, some small, and some that feel hard to put into words.
According to the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP)*, the top reasons people in the UK seek counselling or psychotherapy include:
Anxiety (62%)
Stress (51%)
Depression or low mood (50%)
Low confidence or self-esteem (28%)
Sleep problems (26%)
But numbers only tell part of the story. In practice, many people also seek therapy because they are:
Coping with grief or loss
Going through a separation, divorce, or family change
Struggling with relationships — with partners, family, or friends
Feeling lonely or disconnected
Wanting to understand themselves better or make sense of the past
Seeking personal growth, or work on making life changes, not just relief from distress
So if you’ve ever thought, “My problems aren’t big enough for therapy,” it’s worth remembering that therapy is just as valid for everyday challenges and self-development as it is for moments of crisis.
What Therapy Is (and What It Isn’t)
Therapy can sometimes feel like a mysterious process from the outside. Here are a few truths that might help demystify it.
Therapy is:
A safe, confidential space to talk openly about what’s on your mind
A collaborative process, you don’t need to arrive with solutions; we’ll explore together
A flexible journey, which may involve different approaches depending on your needs
Centred on the relationship you build with your therapist, which research shows is one of the strongest contributor to the positive change therapy can offer
Therapy isn’t:
A quick fix. Meaningful change often happens gradually
About being told what to do or being ‘fixed’, it is a collaborative process based on the relationship that forms, not an instructive or directive process driven by the therapist
Just for people who are mentally unwell, it can be equally valuable for growth, reflection, and burn out/mental ill health prevention
It is worth remembering that sometimes sessions feel light and relieving. At other times, they may stir up difficult emotions or feel frustrating. All those feelings are very normal.
Therapy isn’t always easy, but it often helps you discover new strengths and perspectives and will encourage you to address your past and present with honesty and in safety.
The Different Pathways to Therapy in the UK
Another common question is: How do I actually start therapy?
In the UK, there are several ways to access support. Each has pros and cons depending on your needs, circumstances, and resources.
1. Through Your GP / NHS Talking Therapies
You can speak to your GP about how you’re feeling and ask for a referral to NHS talking therapies (sometimes known as IAPT in England). You may also be able to self-refer online in your local area.
Pros: Free, accessible, often focused on evidence-based treatments like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).
Cons: Waiting lists can be long, and the therapy offered may be limited in number of sessions or type of approach.
2. Private Therapy
Many people choose to see a therapist privately, which allows more choice and flexibility.
Pros: You can choose a therapist whose approach, style, and availability suit you. Sessions are usually weekly, at a consistent time, and can continue as long as you and your therapist agree. They can take place in person, or online, and often have short wait times, with many therapists able to take on clients within a week or two of enquiry.
Cons: Private therapy comes at a cost, though many therapists offer concessionary rates, reduced-fee slots, and free initial consultations. Private therapists are increasingly happy to work with more flexible frequency of sessions outside simply of weekly. Fortnightly or monthly sessions can also be options if the therapist feels this could still be effective therapeutically. Some also offer reduced rates for block bookings of sessions which can help keep costs down.
If you’re considering private therapy, a good place to start is the BACP Therapist Directory, which lists qualified, registered practitioners across the UK.
3. Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs)
If you’re employed, your workplace may provide access to confidential short-term counselling through an EAP scheme. EAP schemes often will cover spouses/partners and dependants so it is worth checking to see what is on offer.
Pros: Usually free, and sessions can often be arranged quickly.
Cons: Limited number of sessions (often 4–6) and sometimes more focused on immediate support rather than long-term exploration.
4. Charities and Community Services
Some charities and community organisations offer free or low-cost therapy, often focused on specific issues like bereavement, addiction, or LGBTQ+ support. Universities will also offer access to free or subsidised services, check with student services to see what is on offer.
Pros: Affordable or free, sometimes with specialist expertise.
Cons: May be limited in scope or availability, depending on the service.
Finding the Right Fit
Whichever route you choose, one of the most important factors is finding a therapist who feels like a good fit for you. Research consistently shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is the biggest predictor of positive outcomes.
That means it’s absolutely okay, and encouraged, to ask questions, trust your instincts, and, book consultations with a few therapists, until you find a practitioner you feel safe with and understood by.
There’s no perfect time or “right” way to begin therapy. You don’t need to wait until things feel unbearable. Therapy can be a powerful space not just for managing difficulties, but for reflection, growth, and self improvement and new starts.
Check out this MIND article for more helpful tips, links and information.
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If you need to speak with someone today, please speak to your GP or visit your local A&E department for urgent, if your situation is not urgent but you still would like to speak with someone today, there are a number of free listening services that are available to you.
These services offer confidential support from trained volunteers. You can talk about anything that's troubling you, no matter how difficult:
Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: jo@samaritans.org for a reply within 24 hours
Text "SHOUT" to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text "YM" if you're under 19
If you're under 19, you can also call 0800 1111 to talk to Childline. The number will not appear on your phone bill.
